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The baby aspirin years

~ Ms. Boice falls in love, travels and eats her way through life in the post-40 years.

The baby aspirin years

Tag Archives: relationships

When the clouds parted

31 Friday Jan 2014

Posted by Ms. Boice in Rendezvous Journal, Trips

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

dating, memoir, Narrows, nature, photography, relationships, travel, Utah, Zion National Park

Zion National Park Rendezvous

You would have never known that 24 hours earlier you couldn’t see but five feet in front of you. But that was Bryce Canyon National Park the day before and this day we were at Zion National Park and it was a bright, warm October day.

Uh, yes.  That's me in front of Bryce Canyon

The day before. What do you mean you can’t see Bryce Canyon?

And the next day there were clear skies.

The next day: Zion National Park’s clear skies show no hint of the neighboring fog.

This was day two of my third rendezvous with Steve. To recap, just six months earlier we met in Scotland, then met up again three months later in London and Bath, England, and three months after that we were rendezvousing in my home state of Utah, discovering National Parks just four hours sound of where I live.

And things were going very well.

So well that I took the clouds parting as a sign. A sign that I was officially in a long-distance relationship, which was something I swore I would never do.

I swore I would never do a lot of things.

Like date online.

Fly across the ocean to another country to meet a guy.

And, yeah, find myself in a long-distance relationship.

A long-distance affair.

A long-distance affair.

Walking the trail, hand in hand with Steve, I couldn’t feel more lucky to have ignored all my “rules.” This is perfect. Absolutely perfect. The trail ended oddly at the bank of a shallow river and as I began to turn around to walk back to the trail head I was being pulled in the opposite direction into the river.

“Wait! We’re going into the water!” I felt the water up to my calves.

“Of course,” Steve said. “Let’s hike it.”

“No we can’t,” I insisted. He still was pulling me along. Do I stop him? Do I follow him? I don’t want him to think I’m not fun.

“Sure we can. Everyone else is,” he assured me.

And that’s when I noticed that there were others hiking the river. (I later learned that this was called “Hiking the Narrows.”

Trying to look cool as I hike the Narrows.

Trying to look cool as I hike the Narrows.

The water was cold but after a few minutes I didn’t notice it any more. The bottom of the river was full of pebbles and rocks and I might as well had been walking on marbles. Everyone else made it look so easy. I was desperate not to look stupid. I wanted Steve to think this was no big deal, like I do it all the time.

Posing in a kettle during our hike.

Posing in a kettle during our hike.

After awhile I began to get the hang of it. Just walk slow and steady. Keep your balance, I kept telling myself. Just pretend you do this all the time. Because normally I would never do something like this. I never thought of myself as an adventurous person.

But getting on a plane to rendezvous with a stranger in Scotland was adventurous.

And so was repeating that in Bath, England.

Plus that whole long-distance relationship thing.

Sometimes people drag you into the river to go on an adventure and experience something new on a warm October day with cobalt blue skies.

Steve takes a break on a rock in the Narrows.

Sure, I’d follow this guy into a river. Anytime.

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How one man changed my body snark

26 Wednesday Jun 2013

Posted by Ms. Boice in Uncategorized

≈ 18 Comments

Tags

blogging, body image, body photo, Challenges, health, relationships

Note: Just so’s ya know, there’s lots of full body photos here.

The same week that Sally of Unbrave Girl began her No-body-snark diet campaign, I read this quote from author, journalist, and comedian Paul Krassner

This is a difficult country to look too different in—the United States of Advertising—and if you are too skinny or too tall or dark or weird or short or frizzy or homely or poor or nearsighted, you get crucified.

Ain’t that the truth.

Sally’s challenge was to begin posting full body photos of ourselves, rather than only shoulder-and-above photos. Well, my arm isn’t long enough for a full body selfie, but I did dig through my archives and found that I was pretty okay with the full body photo at age three.

sc00103959

Red shoes! Love!

Look at that girl! (ME!) Three years old and she hasn’t yet been barraged with all sorts of negative body snark. She doesn’t care that her thighs touch. Or that her toes point out or that the baby fat on her body gives her a double chin. No, it’s all so freaking cute and she knows it!

I can tell you exactly why I started the body snark. If I didn’t do it first, then I beat anyone else to the punch. Laugh at myself, I thought, and then we all laugh together. Bad strategy, I know. That might work well if you trip on a banana peel, and so you laugh at yourself rather than cower into a corner and sob. “Hey everyone, wasn’t that funny?”

But turning myself into a big laughing stock kept me from feeling comfortable as ME. My friends liked me the way I am, why didn’t I?

It wasn’t until I fell in love with this guy when I finally fell in love with myself. (Hang on all you folks who think I’m going down that you-need-a-man-to-feel-good-about-yourself path. I’m not. Hear me out.)

My suitor and I in Palmyra, New York

When I met Steve I didn’t have room for all the negative self-talk about my appearance because I was SMITTEN! Well, at least that’s what I thought at first, but then realized it was it the other way around. Without the negative self-talk I was able to fall in love. And it took me to age 40 when that all happened.  That’s waaaay too long to wait for that to happen.

Feeling more confident in my own in skin not only helped me to find love, but it also led to some crazy activities, all under the influence of Steve. (He now sounds like a drug.)

Lisa zipline

Zip lining in Costa Rica (TOTALLY a fake smile. I’m scared to death, really.) All Steve’s doing.

The suitor TOTALLY dragged me into hiking the Narrows in Zion National Park

The suitor, Steve, TOTALLY dragged me into hiking the Narrows in Zion National Park. I’m pretending I’m so cool about this whole thing but really don’t know what I’m doing.

He also made me walk on a frozen Lake Louise in Banff National Park, Albert

He also made me walk on a frozen Lake Louise in Banff National Park, Alberta.

And then he convinced me that scuba diving was really cool, so I did that too.

And then he convinced me that scuba diving was really cool, so I did that too. I still think it’s cool.

And then he lured me into marriage where I thought, "Hey, I look pretty good in this dang dress, don't I?"

And then he lured me into marriage where I thought, “Hey, I look pretty good in this dang dress, don’t I?”

It’s been a crazy ride alongside this guy and it’s only been seven years now since we met. But here’s my message: don’t wait for a guy to come around to sweep you off your feet to make you feel good about yourself. You have to feel good before you can open up yourself to anyone.

I mean that. Yes, I’m convinced that if I had been still self-deprecating that Steve—the guy above who makes me do crazy things—would never have found me. It doesn’t matter that I’m frizzy, short, weird, or need readers, he loves me. Shouldn’t I do the same?

Yes. Duh.

And besides, if I had screwed up and never liked myself, we would have never made a really cool Christmas card like this, because it takes two people to hold that sign and it only works if you can get a full body shot. Otherwise, it’s lame.

Merry Christmas, y'all.

Merry Christmas, y’all.

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