Note: Just so’s ya know, there’s lots of full body photos here.
The same week that Sally of Unbrave Girl began her No-body-snark diet campaign, I read this quote from author, journalist, and comedian Paul Krassner
This is a difficult country to look too different in—the United States of Advertising—and if you are too skinny or too tall or dark or weird or short or frizzy or homely or poor or nearsighted, you get crucified.
Ain’t that the truth.
Sally’s challenge was to begin posting full body photos of ourselves, rather than only shoulder-and-above photos. Well, my arm isn’t long enough for a full body selfie, but I did dig through my archives and found that I was pretty okay with the full body photo at age three.
Red shoes! Love!
Look at that girl! (ME!) Three years old and she hasn’t yet been barraged with all sorts of negative body snark. She doesn’t care that her thighs touch. Or that her toes point out or that the baby fat on her body gives her a double chin. No, it’s all so freaking cute and she knows it!
I can tell you exactly why I started the body snark. If I didn’t do it first, then I beat anyone else to the punch. Laugh at myself, I thought, and then we all laugh together. Bad strategy, I know. That might work well if you trip on a banana peel, and so you laugh at yourself rather than cower into a corner and sob. “Hey everyone, wasn’t that funny?”
But turning myself into a big laughing stock kept me from feeling comfortable as ME. My friends liked me the way I am, why didn’t I?
It wasn’t until I fell in love with this guy when I finally fell in love with myself. (Hang on all you folks who think I’m going down that you-need-a-man-to-feel-good-about-yourself path. I’m not. Hear me out.)
My suitor and I in Palmyra, New York
When I met Steve I didn’t have room for all the negative self-talk about my appearance because I was SMITTEN! Well, at least that’s what I thought at first, but then realized it was it the other way around. Without the negative self-talk I was able to fall in love. And it took me to age 40 when that all happened. That’s waaaay too long to wait for that to happen.
Feeling more confident in my own in skin not only helped me to find love, but it also led to some crazy activities, all under the influence of Steve. (He now sounds like a drug.)
Zip lining in Costa Rica (TOTALLY a fake smile. I’m scared to death, really.) All Steve’s doing.
The suitor, Steve, TOTALLY dragged me into hiking the Narrows in Zion National Park. I’m pretending I’m so cool about this whole thing but really don’t know what I’m doing.
He also made me walk on a frozen Lake Louise in Banff National Park, Alberta.
And then he convinced me that scuba diving was really cool, so I did that too. I still think it’s cool.
And then he lured me into marriage where I thought, “Hey, I look pretty good in this dang dress, don’t I?”
It’s been a crazy ride alongside this guy and it’s only been seven years now since we met. But here’s my message: don’t wait for a guy to come around to sweep you off your feet to make you feel good about yourself. You have to feel good before you can open up yourself to anyone.
I mean that. Yes, I’m convinced that if I had been still self-deprecating that Steve—the guy above who makes me do crazy things—would never have found me. It doesn’t matter that I’m frizzy, short, weird, or need readers, he loves me. Shouldn’t I do the same?
Yes. Duh.
And besides, if I had screwed up and never liked myself, we would have never made a really cool Christmas card like this, because it takes two people to hold that sign and it only works if you can get a full body shot. Otherwise, it’s lame.
Merry Christmas, y’all.
The baby aspirin years 
Very sensible.
Yes, red shoes ARE sensible!
AMEN to all of this. What a wonderful post & a reminder to love yourself first and see what follows after. And ALL your photos are adorable — even the ones where you’re not 3 years old & wearing red shoes. (Although you totally rocked those red shoes.)
I totally wish I still had those red shoes.
I loved red shoes too; have a picture to prove it at 4, and I love this post.
I want to see that picture of you at 4 with the red shoes.
This is a fantastic post! I totally agree =) I also love the Merry Christmas photo, it’s adorable. And you’re right, if you didn’t use a full-body shot, you’d be wishing everyone a Me-As.
Aw, thanks Janice! That Christmas card photo was fun, but if you look at Steve’s face he was merely putting up with it. BUT I did bribe him with food. 😉
I always enjoy your blog posts, Lisa, and yes, you are wonderful just as you are.
Cheryl, you’re too kind! Thanks very much.
It certainly does make you more attractive to all people when you’re not so busy putting yourself down. I didn’t realize until I was around other people who did it how uncomfortable it is to hear someone talk smack about themselves. Like I said on Sally’s blog, when my then-fiance (now husband) told me one of the things he liked least about me was how I put myself down, it was a real eye opener. Here was this man who loved me with his whole heart and soul, enough to ask me to marry him, and I was putting down his future wife. Constantly. It was not only unattractive, it was plain mean. Bad habits die hard, but I’ve made a hugely conscious effort to stop and when the little thoughts pop up in my head, I bite my tongue. And you know, I actually feel a little better when I do.
Carmel, you’re lucky on two counts: You have a wonderful man who steered you in the right direction and you’re willing to listen and try. Those are big. Thanks for stopping by!
Agreed. amen to that. You look great and happy for you. Keep up the adventures and “letting” him convince you to try things… haha. I’ve bet you’ve convinced him of a few things too.
Yeah, I’ve convinced him that it’s a good idea to have a gazillion pillows on the bed (he’s still bewildered by that). And I got him to start listening and appreciating jazz. Somehow, though, mine are less dangerous, no?
I loved your post. My most favorite photo is the one of you at age 3. You look really cool in all the other ones too though. 🙂
Thanks! I love that picture of me at 3. So innocent and so not caring a thing about what the world thinks.
I missed this post because I was at YW camp then trying to figure out how to be unemployed . . . Anyway I l-o-v-e this Lisa. And it’s so true! 🙂 Most days I struggle with the body snark, even though Greg reminds me daily that he loves me just the way I am. I love all the pictures too. And most of all, I love you, just sayin’. 🙂
Hey Cath! You’re so lucky to have Greg and even more lucky to be the best person on the planet! (Best cousin EVER!)