Tag Archives: Zumba

Between Thanksgivings

20 Sunday Nov 2011

Posted by in Uncategorized

≈ 7 Comments

Tags

, , , , , , , , ,

The following are “journal entries” I either documented on Facebook or jotted down in a notebook this past year. It chronicles the year as I worked my way through coping with my broken leg/ankle.

November 25, 2010 – Thanksgiving Day,

A pretty fantastic Thanksgiving meal at local restaurant, Tuscany. Love that it’s just down the street from us and after a short nap, we hit the road for the four-hour drive to Zion National Park in Southern Utah!

November 26, 2010 – Oh Crap.

The day started out beautifully. We hiked Emerald Pools and though it was very chilly, I felt energized and so excited to be enjoying the beauty. But on the way down I slid on some ice and hurt my ankle. (Well, “hurt” sounds too minor. The foot was actually pointing the wrong direction.) Let me be clear: IT HURT LIKE HELL! Steve and two lady hikers who came upon us dragged me about 800 meters while we waited for the Park Ranger to arrive. We were worried about hypothermia setting in, hence the need to get me out of the shade and into the sun. I was worried about my hands and feet. I have Reynaud’s Syndrome, which in most instances is just inconvenient, as it makes my hands and feet turn white, then purple, and then red and swollen when exposed to cold. But in this case, I was worried that I’d get frost bite much quicker than the average person.

Search and Rescue eventually reached me and carried me out. Still, at this point, I’m thinking it’s just a sprained ankle. I was loaded into the ambulance and taken an hour away to St. George.

So I broke my tibia and fibula. Seems as though I have to have surgery so I opted to have it done back in Salt Lake City. After loads of drugs, the staff tried to put Humpty Dumpty back together again and wrapped up my leg and we went back to the hotel in Zion.

November 29, 2010 – Phone calls

First call: Call work to let them know it’s going to be awhile before I make it into work, which has me really worried. I just started this job FOUR WEEKS AGO! (I actually texted to my boss the picture of me being carried off by Search and Rescue. There’s nothing better than great proof on why you’re not going to be in the office.)

Second call: Find a surgeon. So how do you shop around for a surgeon? Well, you start making phone calls. I finally decided to call my Physical Therapist who actually worked with me the previous summer on that very same ankle. (For acute achilles tendonitis.) First of all, she was not happy to hear that I messed up a perfectly good ankle but did give me the name of a good surgeon.

Third call: MOM!!!! Steve’s great and all, but I needed my mother around. She knows how to deal with these things.

November 30, 2010 – New Hardware

Today is surgery day. Feeling okay about it until I saw this Reader’s Digest sitting in the waiting room before I went in.

Everything seemed to have come out okay. A plate, five screws and 2 pins later I looked like this:

December 1 – 10, 2010 – The Lost Days

Don’t remember much about the 10 days following surgery. Except there was a lot of television (I watched so much HGTV that I’m certain I can build a house, decorate it and landscape it with no problem), a lot of vomiting (and mom was always there with the bucket), and a lot of pain. Actually, it wasn’t pain, it was just extreme discomfort. I learned a big lesson–the difference between being in pain and being uncomfortable. And that’s how I got off my pain meds so quickly.

December 24, 2010 – On Our Own

Mom left to go back to Oregon today. I was very, very sad to see her go. I hope that one day I can be like her and drop everything to go help someone for 25 days. Okay, let’s see how Steve does this on his own.

January 4, 2011 – Back to Work

I needed a wheelchair to go back to work. I had crutches, of course, but it’s a little problematic when your hands are swollen all the time like mine are (the Reynaud’s and this crazy autoimmune thing I’ve got going on), but mostly, it’s tough carrying around a laptop and notebook to meetings when you’re on crutches. I’m tired a lot. I’m also feeling quite lost–remember, I just started this job and was in it for only four weeks before I was out on medical for five weeks. I hate talking to my direct reports in a wheelchair or while sitting down. I have to look up at them. I feel like I’m not very commanding or even important. I’ve also discovered what’s ADA compliant in the office and what isn’t. I’m so dehydrated because I try not to drink water so I don’t have to use the bathroom at work. It’s such an ordeal–I have to take the elevator to another floor to use an ADA compliant bathroom.

January 10, 2011 – Project Runway

This injury changes just about everything. It’s hard to look cute when you’ve got the Storm Trooper boot on. But thank goodness for footless tights. (Regular tights pulled too much on the injured foot.) A whole world of possibilities have opened for me now.

And I’ve become the queen of online purchasing. It’s just too much of an ordeal to go out shopping in either the wheelchair or on crutches. Navigating around in the wintertime just feeds my fear of slipping.

February 4, 2011 – Physical Therapy

I love my physical therapist, but this time around I’m beginning to hate her. Big crocodile tears rolled down my face today as she pushed on my ankle to try to get back my dorsal flection. This can’t be happening, I thought. What if I can’t walk again? Those are real thoughts. But the more profound thought for me has been around, “What if I get fatter?” This injury couldn’t have come at a worse time. I have a chronic illness already (at the time we thought it was lupus), I have an extraordinarily busy job, I travel, and I already needed to lose a few pounds. Now this?! Ugh. So endure the pain, I must. I’m now doing physical therapy three times a week.

February 15, 2011 – Shoes!

Today I can wear shoes!

February 20, 2011 – Navigating Airports

I’ve had two business trips for work since the accident. Steve’s been my sherpa for both trips. Thank goodness he has the flexibility to do that. The whole airport thing is an ordeal, though. It does allow me to bump to the front of the line, but getting through security is a more manual process. Poor Steve’s back–he’s had to manage the luggage and me in the wheel chair. While in Orlando, we had some time and went to Cocoa Beach and I practiced walking on the sand with the help of my crutches.

March 12, 2011 – Hiring a Trainer

I’m not done with physical therapy yet, but I went back to the gym and hired a trainer anyway. Steve also is training along with me, so it’s turned out to be quite fun. It’s been 3 and 1/2 months since I’ve broken out in a sweat that wasn’t induced by some sort of medication or menopause, so it felt great to feel a little raise in endorphins. It’s still a little awkward–I can’t do everything I used to do, but I’m determined. Besides, my clothes don’t seem to be fitting anymore and it’s getting quite depressing. I have to do something about this weight gain. All this sitting around for 3 plus months just sucks.

June 3, 2011 – Graduation Day

Today I graduated from Physical Therapy. You get a t-shirt when you graduate.It’s kind of weird, because for the past 4 and 1/2 months the folks at Mountain Land Physical Therapy have been a big part of my life.

I still have a great deal of work to do–my dorsal flection still is not where it should be and I still limp. Moreso, my confidence isn’t where it should be.

June 16, 2011 – What goes around comes around

Steve had surgery oh his nose today. It’s his turn to get all the attention and I’m happy to help him out. I don’t think I could ever do enough to repay him back for all the help he’s been to me.

August 9, 2011 – Getting older just doesn’t help

I turned 45 today. I still limp from my injury, though. My legs (both of them) are still stiff. I think the 3 and 1/2 months of not walking took its toll on my body. I know I don’t have lupus…I can sense it. Thank goodness I have an appointment with a new rheumatologist and hopefully I can get some answers. I seem to be working long hours at the office, which isn’t helping anything with my body right now. Will have to seek a balance somehow.

September 5, 2011 – Zumba

I may still limp. I may have those days where I feel like I’m moving in cement (thank you, autoimmune disease, which I now know is scleroderma), but there’s something about Zumba that helps with both my confidence and my ability to still feel like I can move. I do not lie when I say that there are sometimes I’m nearly moved to tears during a Zumba class. It’s almost the same feeling I’ve gotten when doing yoga. I think it must tap into something inside of me that brings my emotions to the surface.

The best part is this: I often limp as I walk into Zumba and when I’m done I can walk pretty normally.

November 20, 2011 – Cycling through it all

This brings me to here–just days before Thanksgiving. I think this week I’ve turned a corner. Sure, I’ve gained 15 pounds this year WHICH I BLAME SOLELY ON THIS INJURY! But I’m at the point now where I can just let it all go and try to get back on track. It’s been a year of making my place at a new job, getting my confidence back with simple things like walking, and learning to receive help from others. I also feel that this year I was able to move forward in getting answers for my chronic condition–learning that it’s not one disease but another one.

My father died suddenly and unexpectedly on January 3rd in 1996. It was a tough year that followed, but I remember distinctively that I felt as though a burden was lifted as I rang the New Year in with my mom on 1997. I felt as though I was done cycling through that year and it was time to move on. Big things happened to me as I moved forward. I went to graduate school, moved up the career ladder, traveled and eventually found my husband.

I think I’m done cycling through with this injury now. I still have a ways to go with getting my foot back to normal, but I want to let go of the fear.

Oh, and I want to let go of all those medical bills too.

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

I know, you thought I was an athlete, right?

19 Wednesday Oct 2011

Posted by in Uncategorized

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

, , ,

I wasn’t very athletic when I grew up.  In fact, the whole P.E. thing alarmed me when I started Junior High School and discovered that we had to actually shower in front of each other. I mean, I never got naked in front of my own family, why would people think that its okay to get naked in front of girls from your math or choir class?

And then I felt like I got the coveted Willie Wonka golden ticket–the doctor’s note excusing me from P.E.  I had bad knees that seemed to dislocate just by turning left.  Or right.  It was both knees and after suffering a dislocated knee during line soccer and three knee operations later, there was just too much paperwork for the school administration to have to go through every time it happened that they welcomed the doctor note.

So all during Junior High and High School I took other electives like calligraphy or jewelry making or movie making and relished in the fact that I didn’t have to get naked in public.

Once I entered college, though, I decided to look at all the various options for physical education (mostly because I had to in order to graduate).  I tried dance aerobics, tennis and swimming.  All the girls in dance aerobics apparently were ex-high school cheerleaders and I felt like the biggest dork.  They all seemed to already know about quick-ball change and v-steps and the ol’ standard, grapevine. This was all new to me.  They never taught this in calligraphy class.   Tennis made me feel worse.  (“You  mean I have to run after the ball?  What kind of game is this?”) At least with swimming I started to get a little confidence. Especially when I was able to do the butterfly.  (I rocked!) Since then I took that confidence and discovered step aerobics, kick boxing, weight lifting, spinning, hiking,

Fast forward to now.  I now feel like I did when I was in junior high where I got the golden ticket excuse to get out of P.E. But it’s not the kind of note I want.  Having an auto immune chronic illness means I have to make sure that I’m exercising, but sometimes the fatigue just takes over.

The best way to describe it is this way:  It’s like moving in cement.

But tonight I felt a little normal again.  After a long day at work my super duper supportive husband went to the gym with me tonight and we attended our weight lifting class and then I stayed for the Zumba class.  I just love Zumba!  It’s the one class where even if I am moving in cement I can still move. It’s freeing and fun.  I feel like I’m able to open up it kind of makes me feel young again. There are all shapes and sizes in the class, not to mention ages. It’s fun and such a stress release for me  In fact, my husband goes nearly every time with me and that’s a great example of the kind of support he gives me. And I think he has fun too.

I was thinking tonight during the Zumba class that it doesn’t matter that I can’t move like I used to.  I’m just so glad I’m moving.  It seems like I started out my teenage years not caring about P.E., but now that I need to move I’m grateful for the days when I can. And tonight I could and had a blast.

 

 

 

 

I’m with my people now.

18 Sunday Sep 2011

Posted by in Uncategorized

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

, , , , ,

Turning 40 was just like walking through a door from one room to the next.

In the pre-40 room, I was getting up every morning at 4:30 and was at the gym by 5:00 a.m. where I took a spinning class.  (That’s the uber-tough cycling class that always resulted in a puddle–no, a large body of water–on the floor surrounding my spin bike.) On the days that I didn’t spin, I would pound out 30 mins. on the ellyptical machine and 30 minutes lifting weights.  I had a trainer. I had weight gloves. I even had a heart rate monitor.  And the first year I started doing this (I was 33) I dropped 40 pounds and was super thrilled at my new bod.

Then at 40 I walked through the door.

Here’s what that other room looked like:

Okay, let me first start off by saying that I was traveling a whole lot that year.  I made Platinum frequent flyer status in just  8 months, plus I was rendezvousing long distance with my boyfriend, then to be fiancee and later husband.   When I did find time to work out I was so fatigued I couldn’t get up at 4:30 in the morning for a workout.  If I did, by 10 a.m. I had used up any energy stores I had and I wanted to crawl under my desk at work and take a nap.  (I actually did do that one time at work.  I have an office and I just locked the door and curled up under my desk for 20 minutes.  I was crazy tired that day, I remember.  But now that I think of it, why didn’t I just go home?)

After going through that door I was working out at a gym where I had a killer monthly rate. There were lots and lots of 20 and 30 somethings who looked way cuter than I felt.  I soon realized that I had gone through that door and everyone else at the gym was “in the other room.”  I had heard for years that once you turn 40 that everything starts to fall apart.  But man, does it have to do it all at once?  I remember clearly being on a treadmill at the gym and this girl in her 20s was to my left just pounding hard as she ran.  She never stopped.  I thought, surely she’s going to tire. Nope.  She kept going.  In fact, she’s probably still going now.  And then to my right there was this buff guy who was just pounding it out too.  WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE??!!

That was really my first brick into my head moment.  I knew that this was crazy and something was not quite right.  That’s when I started to bring this up with my doctor and we started investigating.  It turned into four months of tests and wondering, which really sucks, because during that four-month period I turned into the biggest cybercondriac on the planet.  I would Google  everything under the sun.  Every day I had a different disease or ailment and I was going out of my mind.

Anyway, long story short, I got a diagnosis.  (Turns out it was wrong, but I’ll address that in a later post.)  So turning forty and walking through that door meant I was walking into two rooms.  Maybe it’s a great room–you know, in the sense that it’s a kitchen and living room. That sort of thing. That is, I walked into the normal getting older ailments room along with I’ve-got-something-really-bad-going-on room.  The problem is, I don’t think either room gets along with the other.  Or maybe it just needs redecorating.

Soon after my first diagnosis (the wrong one, remember?) I just changed gyms.  I now go to the community rec center that is the same distance as the young groovin’ gym I used to go to. It’s pretty much the same, but the clientele is older and they seem to have a lot of classes for people with ailments.  There’s gentle yoga and water aerobics classes for people with arthritis. I even have become quite addicted to Zumba, which is surprisingly offered at my gym.

I no longer do the wake-up-at-the-crack-of-dawn workout anymore.  I have to find time after work to do it. But that’s okay.  At least I can still workout. It’s important to me and critical to my recovery–both for rehabilitating my broken leg/ankle injury from last November and so I can stay ahead of this mystery ailment I have going on. 

When a friend asked me why I changed gyms I said (a little tongue in cheek), “I’m with my people now.”

And it’s not a bad place to be. I don’t feel like I suck at working out right now.