I wasn’t very athletic when I grew up.  In fact, the whole P.E. thing alarmed me when I started Junior High School and discovered that we had to actually shower in front of each other. I mean, I never got naked in front of my own family, why would people think that its okay to get naked in front of girls from your math or choir class?

And then I felt like I got the coveted Willie Wonka golden ticket–the doctor’s note excusing me from P.E.  I had bad knees that seemed to dislocate just by turning left.  Or right.  It was both knees and after suffering a dislocated knee during line soccer and three knee operations later, there was just too much paperwork for the school administration to have to go through every time it happened that they welcomed the doctor note.

So all during Junior High and High School I took other electives like calligraphy or jewelry making or movie making and relished in the fact that I didn’t have to get naked in public.

Once I entered college, though, I decided to look at all the various options for physical education (mostly because I had to in order to graduate).  I tried dance aerobics, tennis and swimming.  All the girls in dance aerobics apparently were ex-high school cheerleaders and I felt like the biggest dork.  They all seemed to already know about quick-ball change and v-steps and the ol’ standard, grapevine. This was all new to me.  They never taught this in calligraphy class.   Tennis made me feel worse.  (“You  mean I have to run after the ball?  What kind of game is this?”) At least with swimming I started to get a little confidence. Especially when I was able to do the butterfly.  (I rocked!) Since then I took that confidence and discovered step aerobics, kick boxing, weight lifting, spinning, hiking,

Fast forward to now.  I now feel like I did when I was in junior high where I got the golden ticket excuse to get out of P.E. But it’s not the kind of note I want.  Having an auto immune chronic illness means I have to make sure that I’m exercising, but sometimes the fatigue just takes over.

The best way to describe it is this way:  It’s like moving in cement.

But tonight I felt a little normal again.  After a long day at work my super duper supportive husband went to the gym with me tonight and we attended our weight lifting class and then I stayed for the Zumba class.  I just love Zumba!  It’s the one class where even if I am moving in cement I can still move. It’s freeing and fun.  I feel like I’m able to open up it kind of makes me feel young again. There are all shapes and sizes in the class, not to mention ages. It’s fun and such a stress release for me  In fact, my husband goes nearly every time with me and that’s a great example of the kind of support he gives me. And I think he has fun too.

I was thinking tonight during the Zumba class that it doesn’t matter that I can’t move like I used to.  I’m just so glad I’m moving.  It seems like I started out my teenage years not caring about P.E., but now that I need to move I’m grateful for the days when I can. And tonight I could and had a blast.